Guaranteed methods of waking up

You ever wanted to find something that is guaranteed to wake up you up in the morning? The fire alarm in Rodin does the trick. "ATTENTION, ATTENTION, an emergency has been reported in this building. While the situation is investigated, please go to the nearest fire exit stairway. Do not use elevators, repeat, do not use elevators. Err. Err. Err. Err. Err." I'm misquoting it here, but you get the idea. I actually tried recording it with a camera so I could extract the audio and put it on my phone as an alarm, but by the time I had the idea and got out my camera, the "Attention, attention" lady had finished her thing and the alarm was just "Err err err", which is not really that different from my alarm clock, other than sheer volume.

On a related note: For high school, I lived in a dorm. Unlike college dorms, in high school dorms they kinda make it their business to make sure you get up in the morning and such things. (Not that they were always effective, but at least they tried.) It took me a few years, maybe until my senior year, until I realized that they rang the school bell twice every morning. I knew about their other methods, and on occasion wondered why the bell was ringing at such an hour, but it really took me a few years to realize that a bell was ringing every morning, twice a morning, right outside my bedroom door, to wake me up.

The Genetic Code of Purim: ACGT

The Genetic Code of Purim: ACGT

A True Chronicle about Antisemitism, “Cleansing,” Genocide and Terrorism,
Attempted and Averted – Thank G-d!

Cryptically Told to Confuse and Amuse!

In this adaptation of the Book of Esther, all words begin A, C, G, or T,
the four letters of the genetic code[1].

© Sarina Kopinsky, Genetic Counselor

UCD DNA Diagnostic Laboratory[2], Anschutz campus, Aurora, Colorado:
the center that tests gene changes causing childhood and adult genetic conditions –
also Tay-Sachs, Canavan, CF, Gaucher, and all those Ashkenazi conditions (though that’s another topic!)

Question: What does Purim have in common with DNA?

A: Huh – what? You talkin’ about the DNA double helix inside our cells? Genes and chromosomes?

A: Uh … We inherit both DNA and Purim from the Jews of Persia!

A: Duh … We loved biology class almost as much as we loved Hebrew School!

A: Both are miraculous! Purim celebrates hidden miracles – events we can interpret as either coincidence or the hand of G-d! DNA carries all our genetic secrets! How miraculous that a simple “alphabet” of only four letters – A, C, G and T – spells out our entire growth and metabolism!

A: Nyaa – too serious – there’s no connection; it’s just an excuse for a fun Purim Schpiel!

You’ll find no direct mention here of
Megilla, miracle, Mordechai, Queen Esther, Vashti,
Haman, hamantashen, horses, harem, holiday,
Purim, Persia, pogrom, palace, Shushan, king, emperor, royalty,
fasting and feasting, party or banquet^[3].
But we know you’ll get the picture!

An ancient^[4] Tanach^[5] tale: –

A cruel, arrogant tyrant^[6] arose and convinced Achashverosh^[7] to generate trouble against the country’s tiniest group^[8] and create a time to attack them all, also the children, and to take their cash and goods – this gruesome action to go throughout the capital city^[9] and all the territories, town and country^[10]. The tyrant committed to give ten thousand coins to the treasury to cover the cost.

The tribe, good citizens, grieved and cried at their trials and tribulations. Their great chief^[11], cousin^[12] to Achashverosh’s attractive consort at court^[13] (after the chief concubine^[14] got the axe!) advised the girl to act appropriately to avert the threat. Trusting this advice, the girl gathered courage, gallantly appealed to Achashverosh, accused the tyrant, and turned the trouble to a glorious celebration.

And thus, the criminal act got turned around. Charbonah, an advisor to Achashverosh, told Achashverosh about the gallows at the tyrant’s address. The antisemite and ten children got the gallows, and Achashverosh gave away their assets. The twisted tyrant’s gigantic gallows, aimed at curtailing a Torah^[15] giant, actually curtailed the tyrant, thus achieving G-d’s goal, that the tribe continue and not cease to commit themselves to the Torah’s commandments.

Achashverosh told the tribe to gather and take action, at the appointed time, Adar Thirteenth^[16], against anyone attacking them. The concerned gentile community asked to affiliate themselves to this group to avoid any collateral calamity. The terrorists that attacked got the treatment they tried to cause, and thankfully, a colossal genocide was averted^[17]. Goodbye to all those antisemitic thugs!

Achashverosh advanced the cousin, giving glory, gorgeous clothing, a golden crown, and a court appoint­ment.

The tribe all agreed, at that time, to adopt this commemoration^[18] as their accepted custom. They continue till today, alive and thriving, celebrating
G-d’s great­ness and apparent coin­cidences. They also thank­fully acknowledge good Charbonah.

Today their communities congregate at community centers and tell these anecdotes to their children, chanting the traditional trope tunes^[19]. They clap Graggers^[20] to condemn the tyrant’s grievous actions. They give gifts^[21] (the children accumulate a generous candy collection) and charity^[22], and add al’hanissim[23] to their Grace^[24] and Amidah^[25]. The talented among them act the tale at carnivals; their costumes conceal the truth and confirm that things aren’t always as they appear.

To copy the girl’s advance arrangements anticipating a court appear­ance and a treach­erous confrontation about the crisis, the tribe’s adults afflict their appetites^[26]. Then they cheerfully consume triangular cakes^[27] – confections called after the tyrant’s three-cornered cap.

They cook tasty cuisine to celebrate^[28], and also tend to consume alcohol “ad-lo-yada”^[29] – a controversial act, as getting tipsy apparently transgresses Torah according to certain Gedolim (great Torah teachers), and can cause trouble among teens and adults alike! Anyway, the alcohol and carousing at Achashverosh’s court already created ample trouble, according to certain commentators!

Today another terrifying tyrant^[30] controls that country^[31], and tries again to afflict G-d’s chosen tribe and their ancient territory^[32]. They aim to achieve this awful goal (tu!-tu!) – to create an atomic apocalypse against this tribe and against America and all creation. Can the good guys allow this to transpire?

(Go ahead – compose another add-on chapter. This can amuse, and train the thinking.)

Can goodness triumph, converting all terror to creative great­ness? The Torah teaches that this can come about, against all gambling tendencies, at a time^[33] that all creation gives cognizance to Torah’s truth and carries this great challenge to completion!

---

[1] http://www.eurekascience.com/

[2] www.uchsc.edu/DNALab

[3] But G-d’s name, which does not appear in the Megilla, is spelled out, so to speak, in this ACGT version.

[4] About 352 BCE

[5] The Book of Esther, in the Writings section of Tanach (Bible)

[6] Haman the Agagite, descendant of Amalek

[7] King Ahasuerus, Ataxerxes II of Persia

[8] The Jews

[9] Shushan

[10] The Persian Empire, from India to Ethiopia

[11] Mordechai

[12] Cousin or uncle, whatever

[13] Queen Esther

[14] Vashti

[15] Torah: lit., the Five Books of Moses; metaphorically, Jewish teaching in general

[16] In the Hebrew calendar

[17] Would have been the Persian Holocaust!

[18] Purim

[19] Reading the Megilla scroll containing the Book of Esther

[20] Graggers: Noisemakers to drown out Haman’s name

[21] Mishloach Manot (Shalach Manos), sending servings of Purim delicacies

[22] Matanot La-evyonim, gifts for the needy

[23] Al-hanissim: Prayer thanking G-d for miracles

[24] Grace after Meals

[25] Amidah, the focal point of all daily prayer services

[26] The Fast of Esther

[27] Hamantashen, yum!

[28] The Purim se’udah, festive meal

[29] Ad-lo-yada: Until it’s a challenge to recognize evil when it stares you in the face – lit., until one can’t tell the difference between Bless Mordechai and Curse Haman! Wow – just can’t figure out the difference between a hanging and a hangover!

[30] Ahmadinejad, aka Ah-Madman-Jihad

[31] Iran = Persia

[32] Israel

[33] The Messianic Age

Aiming for mastery

In fluid mechanics today, the professor told us that the advice he received as a grad student was that the best way to study for an exam is to rewrite a "book" on the topic. If you're not able to do that, you don't have a sufficient mastery of the material. For this class, he didn't recommend trying to write a book on the topic, but he did suggest going through the notes and rewriting all of them, doing all the calculations yourself to understand how they work.

I'm a big fan of this professor. He's usually right on things, but usually they're things like getting those complicated equations right on the blackboard. The truth is, he's right about this too. Going through the notes and rewriting them all would be an amazing way to get a solid mastery of the material. But I probably won't do it, for the simple reason that I don't have time. I have other projects going on, for all six of my classes, and really don't have the 20-30 hours it would take to go through them as he suggests.

I really wish I had more time to spend on each class. I really wish I had time to do all the readings, spend as much time tweaking that algorithm, smoothing that essay, cracking that math problem. I really wish I could devote enough energy to each thing, to to take classes the way they're meant to be taken, to study for exams the way they're supposed to be studied for, to live life the way it's meant to be lived. But I have a difficult dilemma - when I have too much work I struggle to get it all done and to devote enough attention to each, but when I don't have so much going on, I get consumed by distractions and still, none of my work gets as much attention as it deserves. For now, though, I'm happy with the way I have it. I'd rather struggle, and put in the effort, and work my butt off and feel the frustration of only being able to devote 80% of my energy to each thing, than take things easy, be complacent, and never even feel the loss that I'm feeling now.

Beauty: The Rockies or Harei Yehuda?

About a month ago, we had a discussion on Areivim about the value of appreciating nature. It started with discussion of the famous quote by Rav Hirsch. At one point, Rav Hirsch decided to go on a trip to visit the Alps. He explained that he needed to go on the trip because one day when he reaches the next world God was going to ask Him, "Did you see my Alps?" and he wanted to have a satisfactory response. Danny Schoeman, a South African turned Israeli who spent a week skiing on the Alps as a teenager, claimed that the mountains in Eretz Yisroel (EY) are just as beautiful if not more so. That claim was debated, and some people questioned whether one even may leave EY to visit the Alps, basing themselves on the Gemara in Moed Katan 14a and the Shulchan Aruch in OC 531:4. Here's my take on the question.

As someone who grew up in Colorado, I must say that the mountains in EY are simply not the same. Much as I try, I can not honestly say that the mountains in EY are as beautiful as in Colorado.

But do they need to be? Must one have the ultimate physical experience to have the spiritual experience? I am perfectly happy having chicken served in my college dining hall on shabbos, and don't think my oneg shabbos suffers at all because I'm not having beef. One must experience beauty, but the height of the spiritual experience is limited not by the physical limitations of the beauty but by one's appreciation.

This also relates to the thread on ugly kallahs - everyone has some natural beauty, and if it's not immediately apparent, the chassan has to discover it. We help him by pointing out that she is a "kallah na'ah", and if not, then at least she's "chasudah". I never thought of it in this way before, but Moshe Feldman prompted me to think that maybe looking at mountains outside EY is like looking at other women - you can appreciate the beauty, but who says the appreciation is necessarily what God wants? While I don't know how far I would extend this comparison, I think it's very easy to apply to someone for whom the halacha states that it's assur for him to leave EY. Violating G-d's wishes so that you can have what you feel is a greater appreciation for His beauty seems quite off. (And brings to mind, "Mi shedar bechutz la'aretz harei hu c'mi she'ein lo eloka.")

EY has a wide variety of climates, terrains, and areas to experience God's beauty in different ways. While I grew up with a mountain view from my bed room window, it was not until I was 18 that I got to say the bracha of "She'asa es hayam hagadol." EY affords opportunities to experience every aspect, in a way that doesn't exist anywhere else. True, harei Yehuda aren't the rockies, and it seems silly to call the Mediterranean the Yam Hagadol next to the majestic Atlantic and Pacific, but it has everything we need to experience God's greatness. Yaakov's attitude, and this is expressed in EY as well, is "Yesh li kol." The Rockies can have the "Yesh li rav," we can be perfectly happy with the "everything" that we have.

How not to win an argument:
Practical lessons learned from shabbos in Flatbush

1. Insinuating that someone's opinions are not their own ("Your girlfriend convinced you of this, didn't she?") or that someone will grow out of their opinions ("Let's have this conversation again when you're 50"), is very insulting. Even if it might be correct, it's not gonna successfully convince the people you're insulting of anything. Treat me like an adult and maybe I'll treat you likewise.
   
2. If you want to make negative comments against a group and have me believe you, call them by a nice name. If the guy making observations about black politicians during kiddush had said "black politicians" instead of "shvartze politicians", I would have been much more believing that he had correctly interpreted his experiences with those politicians.
   

Yerushalayim Oro shel Olam

At Meir and Yitty's wedding tonight, they sang the song "Yerushalayim Oro shel Olam." "Jerusalem is the light of the world, and Who is the light of Jerusalem? The Holy One Blessed be He."

What does this mean?

Jerusalem, as the center of the Jewish people (and as drawn on some medieval maps, the center of the world), is supposed to be the city from which Torah, including ethics, shines to the world. "Ki Mitzion Teitzei Torah, uDvar Hashem miYerushalyim - For from Zion will come forth Torah, and the word of God from Jerusalem." People look to the Jews, especially those in their "home turf", as a paragon of right and wrong. When we do the right thing, or the wrong thing, people look to us as an example. Sometimes, especially in the diaspora, we only have the chance to be an example as individuals; when we exist in Jerusalem, in a country with Jerusalem as its capital, we are a national example.

This week, Israel, and thus the entire Jewish people, are under the spotlight for our actions in Gaza. When people see what Israel does, they see it as reflecting the Jewish people, the Am Hashem. When Israel acts in a moral and ethical way, that creates a kiddush Hashem, a spreading of G-d's light from Jerusalem. If they act otherwise, it creates a chilul Hashem, a darkening of that light.

I don't know enough about the situation to make an intelligent comment on what they've done, but I know that appearances are important too. You can't create a kiddush Hashem by acting ethically and looking like a sleazeball. This just creates the obligation for us, as Am Hashem, even if we are not generally political people, to do what we can in the area of hasbara, explaining to people how Israel's actions are not just morally justified but morally positive so this light can continue to go forth.

My tefilla as I sang the song (and now as well) is that as we do the right thing, Yerushalayim should be the Oro shel Olam, and HKBH should be seen as Oro shel Yerushalayim.

This is piece 1 of an essay I'm planning to write on the topic of Judaism and humanity.

I heard a dvar Torah last night at shul between mincha and maariv by a rav, perhaps a Rabbi Feiner. Young-ish rabbi with a trimmed beard. When I go to the white shul again, I'll ask someone so I have his name.

This week's parsha includes the story of the meeting between Yaakov and Yosef after 22 years of separation. It describes how Yosef hugged and kissed Yaakov, but strangely, does not describe Yaakov reciprocating. The Midrash says that the reason is that Yaakov was busy saying krias Sh'ma and could not interrupt.

This is very strange - if it was zman krias sh'ma, why wasn't Yosef also saying krias sh'ma? And if it wasn't the zman, why was Yaakov saying it? Couldn't he wait a few minutes?

The Maharal (which I should probably look up at some point while researching this essay) explains that indeed it was not the zman, but Yaakov wanted to channel the intense emotions of the reunion with his son towards a lofty goal, and there is no loftier goal than yichud Hashem.

He told the story of how, lehavdil, when a certain Giants player got a touchdown in the ___ Superbowl (two times ago when the Giants won the Superbowl), rather than doing a crazy dance or sumersaults or whatever it is they normally do, this player got down on one knee and prayed. Take that moment of high energy, and channel it toward something Higher.

More coming tomorrow....